第三部 第九十六章 毒瘤做先锋(1 / 2)

异世邪君 风凌天下 1640 字 2022-04-25

“哈哈哈……”看到了眼前这等滑稽怪异到极点的一幕,所有人都忍不住放声狂笑,就连跟着慕容千军而来准备嘲讽君莫邪的纨绔们也尽都笑得涕泪横流,抱着肚子直抽抽。

一屋子尽都是大老爷们,这年头大都成家甚早,谁也知道那是啥意思,再者军旅生涯,似这等荤话实在是平常的紧,但君大少这一举却是实在是有些出乎意外的逗笑!

甚至就连旁边的几个沙场老将军也是禁不住咧开大嘴,狂笑起来,笑了几声,感觉不妥,急忙忍住,却又忍不住,终于肆无忌惮的捧腹大笑。

唯一懵懂的只有当事人慕容千军慕容大笑料,慕容笑料只觉得头上剧痛难忍,却还不知道自己头上已经被大肆改造,不禁大怒道:“很好笑吗?军营之中,殴打袍泽,可谓罪大恶极!本公子……本将军定要向元帅禀明此事,予以严惩!喂!你们笑什么,有什么好笑的!”

他头上的“那话儿独角”在阳光下红彤彤的油光光的,似乎还有愈发壮大的迹象,随着他的愤怒,气血奔涌之下,更显得狰狞巍峨,连带整张俊秀的脸庞也变了样子。一脸严肃的说话,却反而造成了更加滑稽的效果……

这下子,刚刚才要收敛的众人一个个再也顾不得面子里子,纵声大笑,有甚者更直接抱着肚子在地上打滚:“哎呀,可笑死我了……不行了,您可饶了我吧,哈哈……”

闻讯而来的君无意大帅和众将军见这里如此骚乱,正值冲冲大怒之际,突然一眼见到慕容千军的奇特造型,瞬时便想发笑,却又想到这实在不该笑,急忙憋住,但憋得太急,而笑意又太盛,一个个直接迎风呛了起来,甚至连一贯严肃的君大元帅也不曾例外。

君大少没的幸免,再次受罚,君大帅简直有些怒不可遏,几乎要将这家伙监禁。

这也太能惹事了,太能搞事了吧?

简直就是传说中的惹祸妖精啊!

而且惹祸妖精的能量明显还没有消耗完,因为整个事件还没结束……

当天晚上,刚刚宿营扎寨的两队人马,再度起了冲突。慕容家的家将要为自家公子报仇,与君莫邪的两百五十名侍卫产生了冲突。

对于这个数字,君莫邪也很是无奈。哪怕再多一人也好哇,但残天噬魂两队人马休整之后,因为之前伤势实在太重而不能随队的却只得四个人。其他的人均无大碍,当然随行。于是君大少就带着他的这两百五十人光荣的参军入伍。有闲暇时候君莫邪一想就会觉得郁闷!

两百五十人也就罢了,但两百五十人再加上自己,正好是:250+1,我靠了,本公子怎么这么脑残。临出来的时候随便抓住一个人打断腿也行哇,但想想还是不对,要是只打断一个人的腿的话加上自己不就正好二百五了,看来起码得打断两个人的腿,那也不对啊,那不是250-1了?纠结啊……

两边交战的最终战果很令人大跌眼镜,这区区地两百来人,居然是凶悍到了极点。直接将五百慕容世家家将打得落花流水,叫苦连天,“残”不堪言,因为真正有数十人出现了伤残现象!

这一来引起了众怒,众世家纷纷指责,君莫邪寸步不让,针锋相对,眼看着就要再次产生流血冲突。

君无意终于发现自己和老爷子之前的打算完全就是幻想加臆测,君莫邪这个家伙存在于军队中,直接就是一匹彻头彻尾的害群之马,更加的是一个毒瘤!还是趁早清除了才是上策。留得久了,难免会让他这一颗老鼠屎坏了一锅好粥。

下午才出来的,一个白天没过去,还没到晚上呢,天还没黑,这家伙居然就背了三次处分!更把能得罪的不能得罪的全部得罪了一个遍!若是真的按照军法来治他,这时候脑袋已经最少掉了两次……

于是乎,再次重重地责打一顿,然后严厉的训斥一顿之后——

“带着你的二百五,给老子滚!”|君无意君大帅如是说道:“有鉴于你小子的表现,现在给你一项重大任务,让你戴罪立功!特命君莫邪为开路前锋,逢山开路,遇水搭桥,若是有什么疏漏之处导致大军损失,直接提头来见!”

君莫邪骤闻此喻令,直如大赦一般,欢天喜地地作了个罗圈揖,用一种小人得志的口气,做足了戏文里的领令的姿态,貌似器宇轩昂实则做作万分地来了一句京剧:“得~~~哦~~令ing~~”

然后手做雁翅型,做飞翔状,绕了半圈,迈了两步四平八稳的慢拍八爷步,然后转为刀马旦小碎步,兴高采烈的飞出帐去。

留下了一屋子大眼瞪小眼的老爷们,都是禁不住爆笑,这小子居然就是君家唯一的第三代后裔?军神世家的嫡系传人?

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