一百六十四.光怪陆离症候群(四)(1 / 2)

哗啦哗啦

海浪耳边回荡。

滴答滴答

清水落在干裂嘴唇。

我如被拯救,枯竭灵魂在恢复湿润。

阴影洒落面前。

我睁开干涩眼睛,朦胧看到白裙轮廓站在身边。

“安娜?”

我忍不住呼唤她的名字,但声音只有自己听见。

没有回应,模湖轮廓渐渐消失。

我着急的想要坐起,一滴水忽然在这时打在我的眼睛里,干涩眼珠变得湿润,我眨了眨眼,忍耐异物入眼的酸涩再次睁开,然后看见二楼地板破孔上的泛黄天花板,听见外面的沙沙风雨声,感觉到犹如浅滩般推起波浪的积水。

雨水挽回了我枯竭的身体;

几公分厚的塌陷地板拯救了我的性命,使我没在无意识里在只有脚踝深的积水中溺毙;

药物解除了我的部分病痛,不知是那些药物里有止痛药还是止泻、消炎药。

我希望是后者,因为这代表着我正摆脱病魔。也应该是后者,因为身体疼痛如潮水一波波向我拍来。

我忍耐着疲惫、无力、晕眩感、肌肉撕裂的疼痛从积水里坐起,寒冷空气让我冒出鸡皮疙瘩,想再回到温暖水中,但泡得近似尸体的惨白肿胀的皮肤告诉我不能再这样做。

耳朵听到的声音像是有杂音的收音机一样微弱失真,我侧头拍打耳朵,又像落汤狗甩动毛发般甩头,在脑浆被摇匀前,一股热流从耳道淌出,我又听见外面淅淅沥沥的雨声,积水拍打墙壁的浪花声。

我搅动着水花爬起,装在口袋的药箱里的药片消失不见,应该早已融化在水里。浑身上下只有还在口袋里的湿蜡烛。

伸手在积水里摸索时我想起那本书,但只捞到些似是而非的絮状物,恐怕只有时光回朔才能将药片和书复原。

我只好寄希望于药物压制了疾病,淌着温暖积水向门口走去。尽管我从头到脚都在湿漉漉地淌水,但嘴巴和眼睛仍然无比干涩,每次眨眼,眼皮与眼珠间都像放着曾砂纸,摩擦我的眼球。

抿了抿湿润的嘴唇,我想要喝些东西,但昨夜的痛苦经历实在不想再来一回,扶着门框眺望难以分辨是上午还是下午的沉淀乌云。

应该不会很短,因为我的手掌与衣服下的皮肤像是曾见到的被海水冲上岸的死人般苍白,褶皱。

雨不算大,潮湿的青石板路只有沟壑蓄着积水,但贝尔法斯特的雨天从来是说变就变。在雨势转成滂沱大雨前我离开诊所,撑着正在治愈恢复的虚弱身体走回长屋。

道路两旁矗立在雨幕里,阴沉、寂静的房屋使我感到不安,雨水的铅色线条彷佛扭曲视物,在我余光与视线边缘扭动。在不安达到顶点之前,我终于回到破旧的、肮脏的、但让我感到安全和属实的长屋。

我从窗户翻进幽暗房间。不知是不是着了凉,我闻不到房间里的臭味,也可能因为到后来只剩下了水。

借着透进房间的微光我走进厨房。火炉没有一丝光亮透出。触摸火炉的铁盖,残存余温让我燃起一丝希望,打开炉盖,用木棍拨动灰尽,维持煤炭形状的灰尽坍塌,核心接触空气,像是燃烧的雪茄般亮起。

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